Thursday, July 4, 2013

TopYaps

TopYaps

Link to TopYaps

Top 10 Anti-jokes of All Time

Posted: 04 Jul 2013 05:28 AM PDT

Anti-jokes are like an indirect humour by which the speaker delivers something that's mundane or isn’t funny. Though, these lack logic and rationality, still these creations of human mind spread smiles across the face of millions. Anti-jokes look at a particular problem or question from a completely different perspective. To see how they do it, continue reading…

10. Amputation of limbs becomes legal…Just imagine!

Why did the little girl fall off of her bike?

It was because she didn’t have any arms.

How silly the parents of this girl are? Or we can say how goofy the imagination of the person imagining this is? Though, it could be possible that she would be learning how to ride a bicycle even without having any arms. How sporting of her? Whatever. This silly question has no meaning at all and laughs at those who are physically challenged. So, it is standing last in my list.

Girl with no arms

Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? It was because she didn’t have any arms.

9. A racial nincompoops' anti-humour pertaining to his area of interest…

What would you call a black person on the moon? The answer is an Astronaut.

What else were you thinking about? Was it that it's only on Earth that a person doing racial discrimination shall be found guilty, but not on the Moon? No because as and when he'll enter the Earth's atmosphere, he'll be charged with such allegations. Imagination provokes imagination.

Man on the moon

What would you call a black person on the moon? The answer is an Astronaut.

8. A bar where people don't drink…

 A man walks into a bar.

 Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So, he got hurt.

This anti joke tries to play around with a word which is used in different places in a completely different way. For example, Bar Code, Bar and Restaurant, Handle Bar, so on and so forth. Now you decide with which bar you would like to go?

So a guy walks into a bar

7. The story of a farmer which has little to do with the farmer…

An owl and a squirrel are in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

As I said, this joke as an anti-joke makes you think from the farmer's perspective. But, later on the centre of attraction of the story comes out to be an owl.

Owl and Squirrel

An owl and a squirrel are in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

6. Gifts of Yuletude, not meant for a destitute…

What does the homeless man get for the Christmas? The answer is "Nothing."

This anti joke is created by a person who appears to be a diehard real fellow and who knows that Santa Claus is a phoney figure. So, like other days, the day of Christmas will also not help a poor to get rich. The Santa Claus is meant for classy people only.

Homeless Guy

What does the homeless man get for the Christmas? The answer is "Nothing."

5. See-saw of sea-law.

What would you call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the sea? The answer is "A horrible accident".

This anti-joke is one of the vaguest anti-jokes as it doesn’t tell in its first line that were the lawyers alive or dead. This provokes the reader to think about an appropriate single word for such a weird description. But, at the other side of it is simply 'an accident'.

100 lawyers at bottom of Ocean

4. Batman becomes a Joker…

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

 ”Get in the car.”

What a nice "Probability Game" was coupled with the celebrated characters of a film. It's an ulterior thing to imagine which imaginary character said what to whom before an action.

Robin get in the car

Robin get in the car

3. The inside meaning of something Red which is Blue…

What is red and smells like blue paint? The answer is Red paint.

Everything that glitters is not gold. Similarly, what we can decipher from this case is "Everything that smells alike does not necessarily have the same colour." This codswallop question has made its way to second runners-up position in my list because it still makes sense.

Red paint

What is red and smells like blue paint? The answer is Red paint.

2. Those gorgeous black eyes. Are they natural or "man"-made?

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

"Domestic violence is a crime. She should leave her abusive partner and seek help."

This is what we call a "Perfect Killjoy" remark. May be the person here was referring "Black eyes" to the bruises around the eyes of the lady caused by the infliction of violence by her partner. Surely, that's not her beauty. I know, like me, many of the readers would have thought that the phrase "Black Eyes" could be referring to the colour of her Iris. But, it's not. That's why it is runners-up in my list of anti-jokes.

Woman with two black eyes

1. Green Evolution and Revolution…

What is Green and has wheels? The answer is "Grass". I lied about the wheels.

This is the best anti-joke that I’ve ever heard. Philosophically, it talks about the human tendency to tell lies even when it is not necessary to do so. As you can see in this case, the answer could be 'Green Vehicle', 'Green Aeroplane' or 'Green Train', but the person bluntly said that he told lies in the question itself. Nevertheless, the thing is, you cannot answer this conundrum correctly until and unless you know its answer already.

Grass Wheel

The post Top 10 Anti-jokes of All Time appeared first on TopYaps.

Top 10 Things Girls Discuss In All Girls’ Night Out

Posted: 04 Jul 2013 03:49 AM PDT

Either you are single or taken; it doesn’t really matter when it comes to girls' night out. It's a perfect excuse to go a little 'high' and cross the lines. A perfect time when gulping a few more cocktails would not make you a drunkard, chatting for few more hours would not label you as gossip girls and commenting a guy or two wouldn’t make much difference. But what do you think the girls sitting at that corner would be doing apart from gulping their favorite cocktails? Talking would be a very general of an answer, but 'talking what' is something that sets the curiosity on fire. So, here are the top 10 things that girls discuss in all girls' night out:

10. Boys, Boys and Boys:

Not that they are obsessed with boys, it's just that they want to discuss all that can never be discussed with guys. Like, the one you are dating is a bore, who do you find the hottest amongst the guys sitting right behind you, how do you plan to approach that super-hot guy out there, and that tacky pick-up line a guy used to impress you.

Boys, Boys and Boys

9. The three P's: Pains, Possessions and Periods:

Any gossip would be incomplete without these three P's. No girl can resist telling her girl friends about what all she brought home in the last shopping session—all her priced possessions. A gossip can sometime turn a bit sappy when the girls start discussing their pains—may be about that recent breakup. And at times when the girls suddenly turn intellectual and talk about the doctor appointments, irregularity in their monthly cycles and much more!

The three P's—Pains, Possessions and Periods

8. Page-3 News:

Yes, ladies are not much into news and current affairs (exceptions are always there) but they still manage to discuss the page-3 news. The latest actress with that new upcoming dude, which co-stars are spotted together, and who is actually dating whom! Girls can never miss out on page-3 news and discuss the deepest details of every possible news.

Page 3

7. Confessions Of A Shopaholic:

Let's just face it now—ladies love shopping! There are times when they just over-shop, make over-use of their better half's/boyfriend's credit card and then lie awfully. Obviously this top secret can never be disclosed to anyone except for someone who's already into something similar.

Confessions Of A Shopaholic

6. Relationships:

Of course nobody discusses it when all is going well. When their world turns into a topsy-turvy land; girls' night out seems the safest outlet to vent out their feelings. How he has started acting like nerds, how boring turn life has taken and how it's just not working any more.

Relationships

5. Social Issues:

Don't misunderstand the statement. Social issues are not something related to the world, but everything related to their world. Whom is she dating? With whom she was spotted kissing? Is she earning more than her husband? Are they getting divorced? I bet she's a homosexual. And the list continues…

Social Issues

4. The Prime Time:

Oh this is the most happening of all—-discussing the virtual world, the T.V serials. Elena wore that beautiful dress to the graduation party, Damon is too hot to get off, Serena Wanderwoodsen is again the talk of the town in gossip girls and Greg's anatomy is just not going on the track.

The Prime Time

3. How Did They Turn (Invisibly) Overweight?:

Over reacting on weight put-on issues is one of the favorite and most serious discussions. How they gained a pound after returning from cousin's marriage and then managed to shed it a week before this night out?

How Did They Turn (Invisibly) Overweight?

2. Food:

No matter how much they discuss their weight gain stories, they still discuss and want to have their favorite street foods. The burger, the hot dog and the street noodles—nothing in the world tastes better than these. And food is incomplete without being discussed!

Food

1. That Lovely Last Night:

This discussion about the super romantic night can go a little over the top, provided you have the right kind of friends. You know what we mean! Sharing the funny experiences, the highs and lows top the hit list here. Girls claim that this is the most hilarious of all the discussions.

That Lovely Last Night

The post Top 10 Things Girls Discuss In All Girls' Night Out appeared first on TopYaps.

Top 10 Sporting Records that Are Unlikely to be Broken

Posted: 04 Jul 2013 12:30 AM PDT

Sports illuminate and transform a society. Sports change lives, affect politics, fuel our economy, and shape our culture. Sports have always been an integral part of our lives, be it a street game, national level or an international level. Sport is one activity which has no age bar and there are some sports in which one can excel in at any age.  Right from pre-school days into old age humans love sports and some come so addicted to their favorite games that they track it like a religion to their last day. Our dreams are personified in our champions, in the records they set and the barriers they break. Let's have a look at some of our favorite champions and sporting records they hold, which are unlikely to be broken anytime soon.

10. The Gentleman and his game (Cricket):

Followed like a religion in India, cricket is the most popular sport on the sub-continent and Sachin Tendulkar is the crowned king of the gentleman's game. Having kept of all controversies that have dogged the sport, Tendulkar is an icon for any lover of the sport who has put so many centuries and runs on the board that the record is unlikely to surpassed at any time.

The Gentleman and his game

9. Game of aggression (Boxing):

Floyd Maryweather, a macho boxer, was born on February 24th 1977. Having participated in 44 games, Floyd went onto win all bouts in all the games, surpassing all previous records.  He remains a five-division world champion, who did win eight world titles and the Lineal championship in three different weight classes.

Game of aggression

8. Game of 11 players (Soccer):

Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro, famously known as Cristiano Ronaldo, is among the best and youngest soccer players in the world. Born on 5th February 1985, the well-known Portuguese player is also the most expensive player in soccer history. He went onto break all records by winning the four main PFA and FWA meets in 2007.

Cristiano Ronaldo

7. Game of Tall Men (Basketball):

Kobe Byrant, the highest paid of La Lakers, is a professional basketball player. At 34 years and 104 days of age in NBA, Bryant became the youngest player in league history to reach 30,000 career points. He is also the all-time leading scorer in Lakers franchise history. He is a sensation among young basketball beginners who see career in the game.

Kobe Bryant

6. Grand Slam (Golf):

Golf is known as the game of the elite and Tiger Woods, the professional American golfer, is counted as the greatest that the game has seen. Woods not only in the youngest to win Gold Grand Slam but also is known for a record breaking performance in 1997, something that other professional golfers can only envy.

Grand Slam

5. Martin Brodeur's (Ice hockey):

Martin Pierre Brodeur, a Canadian born on 6th may 1972, was an astounding ice hockey goaltender who played his whole national hockey league career with team Canada New jersey Devils. Brodeur has played record breaking games and done his country proud by winning international competitions.

Martin Brodeur

4. Yelena Gadzhievna Isinbayeva (Pole vault):

The stunning Russian is the pole vault record holder and is a two time Olympic gold medal winner (2004 and 2008) Having better her own world records on more than 20 occasions, the athletic Isinbayeva has become a legend and is considered the best female pole-vaulter of all time. Having cleared the 5.05 meter bar at the Beijing Olympics in 2008, it a world record that will not be broken anytime soon.

Yelena Gadzhievna Isinbayeva

3. Michael Phelps’ (Swimming):

Michael Fred Phelps, born on June 30, 1985 in Maryland, takes to water as a fish would do. At even the young age, Michael remains a record breaker swimmer at most international meets and hold many records testifying his sporting abilities. Having collected 22 gold medals at Olympic meets, Phelps is the long course world record holder in the 100-meter butterfly, 200-meter butterfly and 400-meter individual medley as well as the former long course world record holder in the 200-meter freestyle and 200-meter individual medley.

Michael Phelps

2. Cal Ripken Jr.’s Consecutive Games Streak (Baseball):

Famously known as The Iron Man, is a former American baseball shortstop. He had the best individual game of his career, going 6 for 6 with John Smoltz and tying a club record with 13 total bases on June 13, 1999. Ripken's retired in late 2001 and was given a warm farewell from his dearest fans, who considered him an idol.

Cal Ripken Jr.'s Consecutive Games Streak

1. Lance Armstrong Wins Seven Consecutive Tour De France Races (Cycling):

One of the famous athletes of the world, Lance Edward Armstrong is an American former professional road racing cyclist. An icon in profession cycle racing Armstrong won the Tour de France, one of the toughest events in the sport, for a record seven consecutive times between 1999 and 2005. With Armstrong recently confessing to having used performance enhancing drugs, his records have been officially erased, but talking unofficially, his past performances are unlikely to surpassed by other professional cyclists.

Lance Armstrong

The post Top 10 Sporting Records that Are Unlikely to be Broken appeared first on TopYaps.

No comments:

Post a Comment